PARENTING & PRESENCE: Discovering Who Before How
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ASKING WHO INSTEAD OF HOW

3/5/2018

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There are so many "how to" parenting books. Sometimes it drives me nuts. It is as if there is one way to parent and if you don't get it right then you and your kids are screwed. It plays to our fear, our overwhelming and our belief that maybe we don't know what we are doing. My question for people isn't how to parent but who are you as a parent. Who are you? Who is your partner? Who are your kids? Because your "how" to is going to change based on your "who". Our parenting style is different depending on our circumstances, cultures, personalities and preferences. It changes based on our age and stage. As a parent with kids in multiple stages from preschool to middle school - my style is different depending on the kid and their stage. And just when I think I've got the 
"how" down then we enter into a new stage!

The goal in the book I published, "Presence-Based Parenting" is less to be a "how to" and more a tool to help discover who and why. Who are you? Why do you parent? What are your goals? Your how is going to depend on your answers to those questions. Too often we think parenting is one size fits all. It isn't! That is why we can't compare our kid and ourselves to other parents or kids. We are all different!

So tomorrow, on International Woman's day, give yourself freedom to be you and to let your kids be them and to figure out how you parent based on who you are. 

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    Ali Millikan, Author

    Wife and mom of 4.
    Writer,  speaker, lawyer.
    Disc/Motivator trainer. 
    Believer that God is in the room and that changes everything. 
    Coffee drinker, runner.

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    ALISON MILLIKAN
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