I've got two sons. One loves to experiment and try new things. He is a bit like a whirlwind. He has an idea in his mind and he does what he can to make it happen. I regularly complain that I spend more time trying to have him clean up his messes than the other three combined. He is nonstop. He regularly says, yes. He might change his mind later and decide it wasn't worth it. And he sometimes gets anxious in the process. My other son is very selective about what adventures he chooses. He wants to know all the details, the destination, the outcome, who is going to be there. Then he wants time to decide. He is regularly on YouTube and Wikipedia researching something/someone. He saves his money until he knows exactly what he wants to do with it. If he starts something he wants to finish it well. And he wants to know the rules, the boundaries to make sure he doesn't cross them.
In the language of DISC, one is a "high C"-highly conscientious. The behavior of someone who scores high on the C scale typically is task focused and moderately to slow paced. They are careful and systematic when managing uncertainty. The higher you score on this scale, the more you are a systematic rule follower. Procedures and rule are there to help, to maintain order, to make things more efficient. The other son, I would predict, would score really low on the C-scale. Rules are suggestions, but if they don't work then he is happy to create a new path or new rules. This son's behavior exhibits "high D"-highly dominant. Like the C a D is task-focused. BUT they are faster paced and driven and assertive when coming to solving problems. While a C wants time to research, to understand, to get to know the rules a D plows ahead, breaking down barriers and creating new rules and procedures to get the job done.
Now ask our high C and our high D to play a game of bump together on the basketball court. The C wants to make sure they know all the rules and follow them. The D cannot bear to stand around and listen to the rules and is happy to challenge the rules if they don't run in his favor. It is literally infuriating to our C son when our D son doesn't follow the rules. And when the C tries to enforce them the D frequently walks.
Both boys are task oriented rather than people oriented (the I and the S in DISC are the people oriented behavior types.) If the task can't be accomplished in both boys preferred style, they quit. This creates so many learning opportunities and so many infuriating moments where I want to say--can't you both just get along! One has to learn the benefit of rules and procedures, cooperation and working together as a team. The other has to learn patience, to not be constantly policing the other and how to ignore the chirping of his brother as he complains about the rules. They both have to chill out.
Then enter their two sisters...who are both people oriented and watch out!! But that is for another post. For now I am busy trying to help two boys grow up into men who understand how to work with people, understand their emotions and figure out how to resolve conflict in positive ways. All while not squashing their natural behavior tendencies which I think will bring about change and God's Kingdom in new ways.