I don't do unresolved well. I like to know the end, to have conflict resolved, to finish the transaction. One of our kids has to have routine heart surgery. 10 years ago it would have been a big deal. Now it's a common overnight surgery that has I be done sometime in the next 8 years. Everything in me wants to have it done now-tomorrow. The thought of my kid having a heart that isn't right for the next 8 years sounds awful. It's like a sentence that hasn't been finished-a comma hanging waiting for the period at the end. I don't do unfinished sentences. And I don't think we were created for them. We weren't created for relationships that don't end in reconciliation. When God created us disharmony was not part of the equation. Death wasn't either. Death to me is the ultimate unfinished sentence. It's not the way we were created. Our original design was for eternal life.
It's like a complex LEGO Star Wars X-Wing. Bear with me-my life is surrounded by LEGO and Star Wars. We get these amazing LEGO kits and instruction booklets to make the set. The parts are incredibly specific and the instructions detailed. Inevitably though after playing with the original design my kids start tweaking it. Then eventually the X-Wing has been taken apart and mixed in with every other kit from the dinosaur trap to the fire station. Trying to remake the original design is virtually impossible. So my kids improvise and use their imagination. I love it and it also stresses me out. What if we want to make the X-Wing again but can't? And what if that is ok?
In a weird way I think this is like us. We were created with an original design-eternity. But the original design got messed up. Thankfully we have an amazing Creator who has improvised with us and found a way for the end goal to be restored-we will live for eternity. However to get there we have to walk through death. Too often I've made death the full stop, the end of the sentence. Then asked God why. Jesus changed this. He changed death from the end to a comma or maybe semi colon. The trick is that on this side of death it means that we have relationships with people that have ended with a semi colon. And we have to wait to finish the sentence with them. We have to wait, trust, have faith in the unseen. One day all will be made clear and there will be resolution for our heart aches. So as I say goodbye to my 93 year old grandmother knowing I won't see her again this side of heaven I leave a sentence hanging, left to be completed when I join her whenever that is;
Ali Millikan, Author
I love Father, Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit. I love my husband and kids. I believe that God is in the room with us; that hearing God's voice is for everyone and that it will change your day to day reality.