Fried? Poached? I like mine scrambled with a little raw cheddar cheese, ham and spinach mixed in. I just watched the movie "The Runaway Bride" where Richard Gere makes eggs a central topic. Julia Roberts doesn't know how she likes her eggs and eats whatever her current boyfriend likes. The point is that Julia doesn't know herself and adapts to those around her. Oh man can I relate to that. Having moved a lot throughout my life, as a kid and adult, I have learned to survey the current culture and figure out what I need to do to fit in.
Its not that adaptation and flexibility are bad...when you know who you are. When you don't it becomes problematic. There are SO MANY opportunities, points of comparison, activities that cross our path daily. Without a clear vision of who I am, who my kids are and who we are as a family I start to get overwhelmed and anxious. Am I/ are we missing out? Knowing who we are makes it so much easier to know when to say yes and what opportunities to pass by. Who are my kids--what do I encourage then to do and what do I not worry about even though everyone else's kids are? Recently instead of pushing through and doing what "I should do" and what people "would expect me to do" I've been listening to my heart, Holy Spirit and letting myself be honest. For example I don't really want to join a woman's bible study right now but I love having coffee with a friend weekly. I love running. I don't like weightlifting. With four kids, I can't add too much organized activity outside of the family or else I start to get stressed and inevitably I take my stress out on my kids. It is becoming easier to say no to things because I know what/who I want to say yes to.
Sometimes this takes courage, trusting in who God created us to be. Often it means not following "what everyone else is doing." One of Sam's friends is on a soccer team that Sam could join. We know the coach, the father of another friend. Every boy his age seems to be on a sports team of some kind. Sam.does.not.want.to.play.soccer. And honestly, soccer isn't going to be his "thing". He's more into legos, building, engineering, writing, swimming and playing basketball with his Dad. At 7 years old I'm not going to push him to play soccer even though part of me is "afraid he will regret it"; "thinks he should learn how to play", "that it would be good if he was well rounded" etc... I don't want to listen to fear. I don't want to let fear of regret direct my steps anymore. I want to listen to peace, joy, to Holy Spirit.
Fear lies. Always. When I start to become motivated out of fear a little button goes off inside of me. I am no longer living out of whose I am, and who I am. I'm living out of fear. So be.gone.fear. I know how I like my eggs and I'm learning that there is only one me on this planet and I am called to be me. Not someone else. Because if I'm not me then the world is missing out on a unique expression of who God is. And I wouldn't want to do that! So here's to eggs--however you like them.
Ali Millikan, Author
I love Father, Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit. I love my husband and kids. I believe that God is in the room with us; that hearing God's voice is for everyone and that it will change your day to day reality.